Fred is outside serenading. He trills and cresendoes but his tune is very, very repetitive. Nagging even. I wish that Fred would find a new house in a new neighborhood but he seems very well established here. Perhaps Fred is lonely- I have certainly never seen him with another. A lady friend might be just the thing to curtail his incessant musical interludes. A polite request seems to be a best first option in most neighborhood disputes but I am certain that in this case, it would be pointless: Fred is a squirrel.
I never thought that squirrels really made any significant sounds before I became acquainted with Fred. Nobody ever says "Chirp like a squirrel!". Unfortunately, Fred failed to get the memo. If we did not reside within the city limits and I were not so unwilling to garner negative attention from local law enforcement, I could solve the Fred problem in a very permanent way. If Fred's preferred trees were on the other side of the house- where we have no neighbors in residence and the structure is incomplete- I might chance it anyway. My northern neighbors would surely object to a .22 aimed at their house though so I resist the temptation. Besides, I've seen Elmer hunting Bugs and that never ends well for Elmer.